Saturday, November 5, 2005

Angel

Over the city, like an airborne beat cop, she adjusts her wings and hovers on an updraft. She gazes down upon her subjects. Like glowing embers she can see those she is responsible for. As a relatively new recruit, she has a case load with somewhere around thirty subjects, none of them terribly difficult as far as the grand scheme of it all goes. She likes the level she's reached and she loves her cases. She is happy with her lot and she is grateful for that, there's not more a novice angel can ask for.
A twitch of a wing and she descends hawk-like to the streets below. All of these people with so much to live for, yet living for so little. It's something she has never come to understand. All the capacity they contain for creativity, for love, for joy - and they squander it all on vain pursuits that have no purpose. They are on this earth for such a short time, yet they risk so little. The world God's created for them is vast and wondrous, wild and full of fancy but they content themselves with their small jobs and their small choices and their small desires.
But she understands that they lack her perspective - they see so little, stuck to the ground, bound to time. She wishes she could make them see as she sees. Then maybe they'd change, maybe then they'd know, maybe then they'd truly be able to worship. And thought this desire burns deep within her heart she knows the rules, she knows her place, she knows her limits and the scope of her responsibilities. Most of all, she knows the consequences of disobedience. She has seen what happens to the fallen, the eternal change of status and their swift descent into depravity despite the best of original intent.
And so she does the best she can within what she can. And she does well at that. Despite all her training, all her gifts of insight and empathy, there is one mystery that beguiles her, two things that mystify her - love and hate and how the one can so easily change into the other. She understands the theory of love, it's concept as an intellectual object - her training has taught her that much, but to see it in motion, to see these humans caught up in the rapture of it, the lengths they'll go to, the pains they'll endure, the careless damage they'll do to those around them in mad pursuit of it - it's one thing to know the power of a black hole, but to stand at the event horizon and see it's endless, gaping appetite is another thing indeed. And in those times when she is the most confused, she goes back (as angels can) to Eden and that day when Eve's foot first touched ground, and the look on the face of Adam as he spoke her name. She views the joy of that unspoiled union and the perfection of it all and she understands a little more every time.
As little as she knows about love and hate, as much as these humans know and experience it, there is one thing she knows as well - death. And that is a degree of leverage she has against them, an advantage they will never be able to overcome. Death is within the scope of her tasks, it's one of the things she can be called upon to do. It's something she's done. And despite the way these humans see it, it is as simple and natural to her as unfurling these wings and taking to the air - something else humans can't do, but the death thing is of greater consequence.

No comments: